hemskaste varelsen sedan typ jesus

aaaaaaaaah OMG KILL IT, KILL IT WITH FIRE

Today I was in the library typing a paper. I had an itch on the side of my foot so i rubbed it against the pole of the table. After about 10 minutes I realized that the pole was actually the leg of guy sitting across from me.

Today, my Asian family went to Burger King. My dad said "cock no ass". I desperately tried to explain to the horrified cashier that he meant "coke and no ice". Asian accents are inconvenient at times.

MLIAspam

Today, my friend walked up to me all flustered and upset. I asked her what was wrong and she said "What on EARTH does 'idk' mean? NO ONE knows!" She was serious. Yes. Serious.

Today, I was learning Swedish on Rosetta Stone, and discovered that "babies" is said as "babesar," pronounced babisaur. Now every time I see a baby, I think of little dinosaurs. And I am never going to say "babies" in English again.

MLIA

Today, i was looking at a picture of Ronald McDonald and my seven year old brother asked if he was Lady Gaga.

Today I was walking around a girl who was stumbling around drukenly. I did think she was drunk until I realized she was just lurching around trying to catch snowflakes on her tounge. Assupmtions withdrawn.

Today, I found out that had I been a boy my parents would have named me Oscar. My last name is Mayer. I love my parents.

Today, my biology teacher told us that one male makes enough sperm in his lifetime to fertilize every egg in the world. After a brief pause, he proceeded to yell "SPERM POWER!" He is 80 years old, and entirely awesome.

Today, I was driving around town doing errands. As I came to a stop light I noticed the bumper sticker on the car in front of me. "Buckle up. It makes it harder for the aliens to suck you out of your vehicle." Best. Reason. Ever.

Today, a kid in my class dropped his pencil. It hit the ground, and when he picked it up, he dropped it again onto his desk and it rolled of. His response to all of this was: "Well son of a motherless goat!"

Today, me and about 9 of my friends decided to do a Secret Santa gift exchange. One of my friends drew the name of a girl we don't really like, but feel compelled to buy for nonetheless. We asked my aunt what she should get her. She suggested "Condoms. Then poke holes in them with a needle. She'll never notice." I am proud to be related to this woman.

DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH.

The next big thing

American idol är så inte okej. För antingen är de helt värdelösa och alla hatar dem, eller så är de helt värdelösa, men charmiga rednexxx och då tycker jag bara synd om stackarna. :(

Känner igen mig i dem! Ska bli redneck. Fabolous.

GET OFF MY LAWN, BOY!

snyg sykel :P

*musik som alltid spelas i skräckfilmer när man vet att något hemskt ska hända*

SITTIN ON THE TOILET

LAH LA LA LAH. LAH LA LA LAH. LAH LAH LAH LAAAAAAH LAH.

I can see your halo

Ska jag börja då, eller..?

TJOCKISLÅÅÅRIIIIS!

Och nu har det hänt. Någon har lagt upp lilla Häggen på emochan. Fy.

LINBUSEKTEN!

"Människan har ingen själ, men genom utveckling kan en själ "kristalliseras" - denna själ är evig. Man tror inte på reinkarnation, så man har bara detta livet att skaffa sig en själ. "Kristallisation" underlättas med hjälp av "friction", dvs man ska utsätta sig för påfrestningar, t ex umgås med personer man inte tycker om, inte äta och sova tillräckligt, arbeta hårt, göra svåra saker, aldrig visa sina känslor och helst byta partner ofta. Dessa regler underlättar naturligtvis manipulationen."


Errh, makes sense...

NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN

KYPARN! FYFAN VAD DET STINKER! FYFAN! DET LUKTAR SKIT

FÖRSTA FYLLLLLAAAAAAAN!!! FÖRSTA FYLLAN!!!!

ARG SOM STEN

HÄGGEN ÄR EN ONDSKEFULL MÄNNISKA!
INTE ENS SÅHÄR COOLT ONDSKEFULL. BARA MESIGT ELAK. FY HELVETE ALLTSÅ.
ALLA BORDE KISSA PÅ HENNE. ELLER NÄÄÄÄ, SLÖSA INGENTING PÅ HENNE! INTE ENS KRANVATTEN! INTE ENS BAJSVATTEN! FY FAN.

Det var någonting mer jag skulle skriva men det lämnade min hjärna otroligt snabbt.

Men ÅÅÅHHH, idiot.

Nerifrån och upp. Read it. Dör.

Nykterlördag

MÖRDARÄNDER!

Nykterfredag

Det börjar bli för stor Hitlerhysteri här, känner jag.

Så jag tar mig friheten och visar andra bra/fina/intressanta människor Macaulay Culkin (Also known as KULKEN!)

Benito Mussolini

Charles Manson

Anders Eklund

Sötast i Tyskland

(L)

MEN STALLET.SE ÄR SÅ JÄVLA MYCKET ROLIGARE ÄN ATT SKRIVA I EN BLOGG :(
MÅSTE BARA HITTA FINA BILDER PÅ HITLER/STALIN/MAO INNAN JAG KAN SKRIVA NÅGOT.

Arg

HÄGGEN, DITT FULA FANSKAP!
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